Life With and Without Cataplexy

Imagine living life constantly on the edge, where a simple joke could cause your knees to buckle, or a surge of anger might send your body into paralysis.

This was my reality for almost three decades, all because of cataplexy. My journey with cataplexy has been a constant balancing act until suddenly, everything changed.

Cataplexy is incredibly distressing

For those who have never experienced a cataplexy attack, picture suddenly losing control of your muscles due to intense emotions like laughter or surprise. These unpredictable 'drop attacks' turn ordinary moments into extraordinary challenges.

The unpredictability of cataplexy creates a kind of underlying fear of allowing yourself to truly feel certain emotions (depending on which ones are your trigger.) These triggers are different for everyone. It could be laughing, anger, frustration, fear, or even a mere second of confusion.

For me, my experience has been particularly distressing, because over the years my cataplexy triggers have changed erratically. One day I would drop the glass I was holding because laughing turned my hands to jelly…then the next day, I would fall crumbling to the floor in the middle of a heated argument.

But I found a treatment that helps

Then something highly unexpected happened this year: as of my writing this, I found a treatment that has actually been effective! The treatment is Fluoxetine.

Before I realized it, my life had shifted from being in a state of constant dread to finding an unexpected, foreign freedom. After years of tiptoeing around emotional landmines, I finally stumbled upon a medication that works! I didn’t believe that it was possible. It felt as if someone had handed me back the reins of my life, a feeling that felt extremely strange yet unbelievably freeing.

How life changed

Living without cataplexy is like emerging from behind a distortion mirror; everything remains familiar yet entirely different. Laughter has become what it was always meant to be: a bonding force rather than a source of fear. Everyday tasks have transformed into gratifying accomplishments instead of potential pitfalls. Life has morphed into an expansive ocean, offering full narratives rather than glimpses through keyholes.

Living with cataplexy has not been an easy or predictable experience for me. It was full of highs and lows, whirling around inexplicably in storm clouds that occasionally broke into secret rainbows, painting the heavens with images of brighter days to come.

The difficulties I've encountered along the way have honed my character. The encounter deepened my perspective of what it means to live a robust life by testing and pushing me beyond my comfort zone. It echoes a testament that I have deep inside of me.

Appreciating any wins I can get

I've spent years preparing for sudden drops, but now that I'm upright, I understand that while cataplexy may have influenced my history, for now at least, it no longer sets the pace for my present.

Unfortunately, I can't say the same about the future. Those of us living with chronic illnesses are well aware that what works today may not work tomorrow. So for now, as of my writing this, I’ll enjoy my newfound freedom and try not to worry about just how temporary it may be.

I guess that's the thing about living with an inconstant and unpredictable condition like narcolepsy: you eventually learn how to appreciate any wins you can get.