New Narcolepsy, New Life

It is possible to be "born with" narcolepsy and never experience life without it. However, I was not born with narcolepsy. My narcolepsy onset in my college years following a viral infection.

When this happened, I was forced to reevaluate my life goals. Why? I was suddenly a pre-med honors student stuck in a body that couldn’t stay awake for longer than 15 minutes at a time!

Spending most of my life in a fog

Studying for hours while falling asleep became my new normal. I was constantly falling asleep in class, causing my class notes to trail off into gibberish. Thus, my ability to absorb new information was significantly reduced. I was working multiple part-time jobs in college in order to afford basic necessities; I started struggling to show up for work on time. I spent most of my life during this time in a fog, somewhere between awake and asleep.

Realizing I needed something different

I distinctly recall the moment that I decided I would not go to medical school or sit in for MCAT testing. I was researching medical schools to apply to and could not find one that had a disability resource center. As a college student with multiple disabilities, I had to frequently utilize the disability resource center on campus in order to make classes accessible for me. Without these resources available in medical school, I knew I would have to battle many years on my own for accessible classes, labs, and more. I would have to do all of this on top of being a medical student! As a disabled person, I felt unwanted and unwelcome.

The change in lifestyle was not easy.

From scientist to artist and writer

My transition from scientist to artist and writer was not my choice — however, I’ve since come to terms with the change. It’s unfortunate that I was unable to continue working in science due to my severe narcolepsy symptoms.

This being said, working as an artist and writer has allowed me to develop myself in ways I wouldn’t have otherwise. I’ve developed emotionally as I’ve used art to channel my emotions and express what I am feeling and what I have experienced.

Narcolepsy symptoms and my artistic process

I am able to use my narcolepsy symptoms while creating art. I can fall halfway asleep while painting and keep painting. When this happens, I can see what I want to paint in my waking dreams. It helps me develop artwork, because I can see exactly what I want to create!

Poetry is another example of art I can make while halfway asleep. Since the words come to me automatically and require no formatting to be a poem, this is an accessible form of artwork for me.

Advice for my newly-diagnosed self

It wasn’t easy to start a new life due to narcolepsy. However, I have come to accept my circumstances (for the most part). And, of course, it doesn’t hurt that I love writing and creating art.

If I could go back and give my newly-diagnosed self a word of advice, it is that life is still worth living even if it doesn’t end up looking like how you planned.