Go to Sleep!
This is a little reminder for myself and anyone else out there who may need it. You have narcolepsy – a chronic condition that causes sleepiness.
This isn't your average tired, and you can't fight it, no matter how hard you try. This isn't a matter of willpower or strength. You have to sleep!
Have a nap!
Okay, I know you really want to keep doing what you are doing right now, but you need to nap! Your eyes are barely even open and you don't remember what you have been doing for the last 15 minutes. You are functioning on autopilot and your body is screaming for sleep.
I know you don't want to nap. But trust me, it will make your life easier, and you will be able to go back to what you were doing after you wake up.
Bargaining with my narcolepsy
I know I can't be the only one who tried to bargain with their narcolepsy. I often find myself saying, "Okay, I will have a nap as soon as I finish this one thing." Or, "I will pull over for a nap as soon as I get to the next service station."
Ultimately I never win these bargains. If I don't obey narcolepsy's demands, it will just force sleep upon me without my permission. I honestly don't know why I keep trying.
You don't need to earn rest
I often find myself being so angry that sleep is intruding on my life and stopping me from doing all the things I need to do. I always feel like I could achieve so much more before my nap – that I could finish one more task and then I have earnt a nice rest.
News alert: Narcolepsy doesn't care how many things you want or have to do. It also isn't keeping track of what you have done in order to earn a nap. You deserve to rest when you need to, regardless of what you have achieved or how much is left on your to-do list. Those tasks aren't going anywhere.
More rest makes me more productive
There are so many times that I wish I had just stopped and napped as soon as I knew I needed it instead of trying to push through the sleepiness. Ultimately, once I get sleepy, I don't have the brainpower to achieve very much anyway, and so I am just floating through life at 50 percent (or less) capacity on autopilot.
The tasks that I "achieve" in this time often need to be re-done because they haven't been done right. So then I end up doing the work twice AND missing out on a stress-free nap. So I have been working on honouring my sleep signals and listening to my body, and honestly, more rest makes me more productive in the long run.
Note to self: stop fighting sleep
So this serves as a note to self for anyone who may need it. You are not weak, or less than, for needing to sleep. You have a condition that is completely out of your control which means you need to nap!
Stop trying to fight it, and just let yourself rest when you need to. You don't need to earn it. You are worthy of rest.
How often do you experience automatic behavior?