Traveling with the Right Tribe

As an avid traveler living with narcolepsy, I have had a wide variety of travel experiences. Often times I travel with friends or people who know me and have an understanding of my narcolepsy and its symptoms, but that is not always the case.

Not wanting to feel like a burden

While enjoying my first international break of the year, the furthest away from home, I was acutely aware of how different it is when you travel with your perfect tribe.

I have gone on trips with friends before. Where although they are kind and considerate of the extra time I need to nap or how exhausted I am, I still feel like a bit of a burden. Like I am the person stopping them from having as much fun as they would like. Like I am the one bringing down the energy of the trip.

Complications of traveling with narcolepsy

I've been on group trips with people I know and expected kindness from and felt judged for needing a nap, judged for what I ate, like they knew what I needed to change to not feel so sleepy all the time. Where I left feeling exhausted like I was having to seek out happiness, even though I was in one of my favorite holiday spots. I have also taken a group trip where I knew hardly anyone, didn't speak the same language as most of the group, and was sick most of the time. And I felt welcomed, happy, and a part of the group.

I was speaking with some friends living with narcolepsy the other day, and they were describing going on holiday/vacation with friends and feeling stressed, like they were negatively impacting the groups holiday. I could perfectly identify with what they were describing. It was then that I realized that perhaps some of the issues I have had with some of the travels in the past was not just about me and how well I got along with those friends, but rather a complication of traveling while living with narcolepsy without the right tribe.

Finding the right travel partners

I want to be clear that you can have really good friends that you just cannot travel with. Some friendships are stressed by having to travel together (even when narcolepsy isn't an issue), and this stress is faced by most friendship groups traveling.

However, identifying a good travel partner is harder when you cannot just plan a last-minute trip, when airport security takes longer due to the medications you have to travel with, when you need to schedule in naps and recovery travel time. And also you're trying not to feel guilty for taking time away from activities and excursions from a friend, when you appreciate just how valuable holiday time and time away from work is. This all is before you deal with the morning-vs-night owl, where to eat, and activities-vs-downtime differences that appear in a group holiday.

A major benefit of having a wider tribe with lots of people who understand what it is like living with narcolepsy or other sleeping disorders is this amazing feeling of being understood. And when you are really comfortable with your tribe, the pressure of not letting anyone down can be lifted, and you can feel free to say how you are feeling. You can pick travel buddies with whom you have more aligned travel styles.

Feeling supported and understood

Having your tribe behind you and supporting you can give you the confidence to move more boldly, go exploring, and know that there is someone you can confide in who will get it. You are less focused on doing the right thing or not letting anyone down, so you have more fun, you can be more carefree.

The world is set up more to make travel easier in 2024 than in the '90s when I first started traveling. With just a phone you always have a map on hand if you get turned around, you can share your location with a worried loved one without any extra effort, and Ubers can be a God-send when you are exhausted and need to get back home or to your hotel safely. With friends in your tribe who are not trying to limit you and who understand you, travel is not only accessible; it can be fun.

How to identify your perfect travel tribe

So how can you identity your perfect travel tribe? Here's what I have found:

• They understand your narcolepsy symptoms
• They won’t judge your need for naps or recovery time
• They won’t keep making jokes about how sleepy you are
• The plans for the trip will accommodate your requirements
• You are not constantly stressed

What has your experience been traveling with friends or family, when you have a sleeping disorder? What have you learned, and what advice would you give to someone planning a trip?