The Unhealthy Habit of Comparing

There is one very specific mistake that all of us will likely make at some point in our lives that isn’t beneficial to us in any way, but we do it regardless: We compare ourselves to others.

It’s a human thing to do, but it’s one that we should try our best to avoid.

We all have thoughts like, 'I have a worse problem'

There are 2 different ways that we do this, and both can be detrimental to our mental health. We either compare for the "better," or we compare for the "worst." Neither is beneficial.

When we compare ourselves for the "better," it can give us a false sense of superiority. This usually means looking at someone else and thinking things like, "Thank god I’m not like them," or "I have a worse problem, and I'm not complaining about it."

Now, I’m not suggesting that these are terrible thoughts, because, in my opinion, they aren’t. These thoughts are completely normal, and most of us will have them at some point depending on the situation. However, when it comes to dealing with a chronic illness like narcolepsy, these are the thoughts that can lead to unintentionally invalidating someone else’s feelings.

There is no 'better' way to cope with narcolepsy

We all have different experiences with narcolepsy and experience our symptoms in ways that are unique to each of us. This means that we also cope differently, too. In reality, there is no "better" way to cope with narcolepsy or any chronic illness.

Internalising a newfound and extremely complex reality isn’t a linear road; it’s one that all of us must take at our own pace.

Unwanted negative thoughts about others' experiences

On the other hand, what most often happens is that we compare ourselves for the "worst."

Living with narcolepsy seems to lead many of us to compare our lives to other people’s more often than we would probably like to admit. It seems we are all guilty of this, unfortunately, but we need to be careful, as it can lead us to a very dark place if we do this consistently. In all honesty, I personally have to fight the urge to compare my life to others' on a daily basis.

For me, at least, these unwanted thoughts will pop into my head sometimes when someone without narcolepsy is complaining to me. For example: "Well, at least you don’t have to live with narcolepsy," or, “You have no idea how good you have it."

While I am completely aware that these thoughts are not fair to the other person, our brains don’t always work in a fair way.

Social media provides only a limited view

Another factor that doesn’t help this tendency is social media. While I am an avid social media user, both in my personal and professional life, I realise that it has the capacity to significantly influence my mental health in a very negative way.

In most cases, social media only depicts the version of people’s lives that they want us to see, and it’s usually one presented in the best light possible. Naturally, every time we pick up our phones to scroll through people’s lives, we are basically steering ourselves directly into the "comparison lane."

Being aware of our thoughts helps us redirect them

While comparing ourselves to others isn’t something we can escape entirely, there are ways to manage it.

The first and most important factor is to be aware of our thoughts in order to be able to consciously redirect and transform them. So if you find yourself comparing yourself for "the better," try to stop and remind yourself to be compassionate, and maybe put yourself in the other person’s shoes.

If you find yourself comparing yourself for "the worse," stop and think of something in your life that you’re thankful for. Because no matter how good or bad you believe your life to be, there will always be someone out there who has it better and someone who has it worse.