A Letter to My Younger Self

Dear younger self,

There’s so much I have to say to you that I’m not even sure where to begin.

Right now, life seems daunting and uncertain, and you feel as though everyone has it all figured out except for you, but trust me when I say that this is far from the truth.

You are doing great, and though it may not seem like it, everything you are going through is preparing you for the future.

The things you’ve been through all have a purpose and will strengthen you for many battles you will have to face.

Fighting the stigma of narcolepsy as a teen

You’re probably already starting to believe that what everyone says is true... you’re a lazy teenager that never helps your mum around the house and seems to always be sleeping.

Don’t let this bring you down, because one day you’ll have your answers.

All the times you feel as though your body feels heavy and you don’t know why — there’s a reason for that.

All the times you argue with your mum because you can’t seem to get out of bed no matter how much you want to — that’s not your fault.

Feeling isolated in your symptoms

I know you feel as though you might even be going crazy; you have so many crazy nightmares that scare you and you struggle to understand why, because it seems as though no one else has these besides you.

One day it will all make sense.

Although you won’t realise this for many years to come, you are different from everyone else. You are dealing with things that even you have no idea about.

I wish I could make it all OK, and make you understand what’s happening to you right now... but I can’t. All  I can say is that every single one of these hurdles will teach you to be strong, and that they do have a special purpose in your life.

There's so much I wish I could protect you from

Unfortunately, it’s too late to stop the nasty giggles you hear and the weird looks your school friends will give you sometimes when you fall asleep during class, even though you felt wide awake only minutes before.

It’s too late to stop that teacher from slamming that book next to your head in order to wake you up during his lecture, which made your face turn bright red with embarrassment.

There’s so much I wish I could protect you from that simply isn’t possible.

But like I said, there’s a reason for all of this.

One day you’ll understand.

Remember this, because it will be your biggest strength

One day you’ll see that all of these moments are shaping you to become the strong person that you will be. It’s because of all these challenges you’ve faced that one day you will be able to be strong enough to speak up for yourself and for so many others that need your voice.

You struggle to stand up for yourself right now, but don’t punish yourself. You may not be able to fight for yourself, but somehow you never seem to find it hard to fight for others. Remember this, because this is going to be your biggest strength one day, and there will be people that will need this strength.

Because one day soon, though it may seem far away right now, you will receive a diagnosis that will change your life.

It won’t be easy, but I know you’ll be ok.