Blessed but Feel Cursed!

Last updated: October 2022

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Howdy! My name is Ron, and I have had narcolepsy for as long as I can remember.

Growing up with narcolepsy

Growing up, my mother, along with many others, thought I was just a lazy butterball, but my mom began to question when she started noticing the unusual. I have other health conditions, such as bipolar and asthma. I'm much healthier now as an adult, but as a child, I was always being treated for my health.

My narcolepsy diagnosis

With that said, during an asthma appointment with a specialist from Gainesville, FL my mother somehow mentioned my unusual sleeping patterns and behaviors, and the doctor immediately knew what it was. However, she couldn't fully say until she ran a test. Sure enough, within the first 10 minutes of the first sleep test, she was able to diagnose me as narcoleptic. Though it was a relief and blessing to know, life has nonetheless been DIFFICULT!

The struggle of having narcolepsy and bipolar disorder

Battling both bipolar and narcolepsy has attracted bullying from all statuses of people, especially those closest to me, countless unwanted laughs, much criticism, many fights and altercations, numerous hospitalizations, loss of jobs and relationships, which has ultimately played a big role in my current position of poverty.

Narcolepsy's toll on my mental health

Now that I am on the street my narcolepsy has increased to the point of me hallucinating every day, even when I'm awake, causing me pain so great I've started cutting myself again as some kind of relief and is throwing my daily activities out of whack. In all honesty, because of certain factors, I've battled suicide, anger, rage, and deep depression most of my life; however, compared to now, those past times seem like cake. Before I proceed, most people that know me well enough would tell you I'm kind, honest, loyal, and outgoing, yet, those same individuals would probably add how moody, sensitive, and hot-headed I often am as well. God has always been with me, and that's where I'm blessed, but being overwhelmingly exhausted swaying between aware and unaware in a sleep world ignorantly feasting on information for self-gain feels like a curse! And, what's more frustrating than living in a world where I manage to see more than most non-narcoleptic people I've encountered, is living in a world where people disrespect the disabled, even if those individuals put forth their very best in society!

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