Living Sustainably Is Complicated With Narcolepsy

Yesterday I was perusing the colorful aisles at my local grocery store. It wasn’t until I reached the checkout line that I realized I’d forgotten my reusable grocery bags at home!

I have to keep errands brief due to my narcolepsy

It’s not like I could leave my full cart of groceries to drive home and back with my reusable bags in hand. (I’m sure the gasoline used to do so would harm the planet enough to offset any good I did by valiantly returning with my own bags).

I also couldn’t drive home and back again because of my narcolepsy. I have to keep trips short and sweet in order to feel safe while driving. This means any errand that takes longer than half an hour would require careful planning beforehand, and caffeine — which worsens my anxiety significantly.

Trying to live a sustainable life can be overwhelming

Brain fog is one of the most frustrating symptoms of narcolepsy. The never-ending exhaustion is probably the worst symptom, though. It makes doing normal daily tasks, like washing my hair or the dishes, more difficult. I’ve had to cut my hair since getting narcolepsy to reduce the time and effort it takes to care for it.

Adding on the nuances of living a sustainable life can be overwhelming at times. Whether it’s forgetting to use sustainable options, being unable to afford sustainable options, or not having the energy to go the "extra mile" for the planet – these can all be caused by narcolepsy symptoms.

Needing to rely on what works and is safe for me

I often rely on single-packaged foods, for example. These create more waste but are a necessary part of my lifestyle. I need protein bars and protein drinks because I need accessible energy that doesn’t require prepping an actual meal. Narcolepsy makes everything harder – even cooking. I save so much energy by only cooking one meal a day, and relying on pre-packaged foods for the rest. It isn’t ideal, but it’s what I’ve found works for me.

Donating extra items instead of throwing them away, for example, is something that takes extra effort and driving. I ran out of groceries this week and found it painfully tiring to convince myself to buy food. I’ve also had an oversized box meant for a donation center sitting in my living room for weeks. I tried posting the items as free for pickup on a local Facebook group, but no one who responded followed through.

Prioritizing taking proper care of myself

This weekend I only had the energy for one errand – which one do you think I chose to run? If I wanted to donate my items, I would have to plan ahead. This might include searching for a donation center, remembering to pack the items I wanted to donate, and actually driving there and doing the thing. I’d still come home to a food-less house with an empty belly. I chose to grocery shop.

I ended up throwing the box of items away today and felt so guilty while doing so.

Should I feel guilty about these things? I am not so sure. I try to do what I can for the planet when I can. It’s when it starts interfering with my ability to care properly for myself that I draw the line.