Lashing out

I find myself crashing out for days at a time. Even with a "normal" sleep schedule my body happily laps up any and all opportunities to completely check out. And every night is the same dream. Im somewhere i don't recognize, usually a hotel, and I'm wandering around lost. I see friends family and of course...her. But she never listens when i beg her to come back so we can put our family back together. And I get so mad i wake up falling out of bed or punching my nightstand or the floor.